The story behind Journals by Brian, I have been journal writing for over 10 years. I started in November 2009 when I started my spiritual journey. I first started with a notebook that grew into journals. Without saying a word, I would be gifted journals. I realized that this was part of my process. I started writing because I had found it hard to trust people. Even in my own family, to me, it didn't matter one word out of place; someone somewhere would use it against you. Plus, I had complex trust issues. I also found it hard to process my thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Because I was suffering from crippling depression and anxiety. It was terrible; it started in the 3rd grade after my grandmom passed away. I started the 3rd grade and was teased. Honestly, when I lived in the south, I wasn't teased; I was athletic, and I was outgoing. But when I came to New Jersey, I saw how competitive people were with sports. It is what turned me off on sports. From then on, I only touched sports equipment during gym class. But that was the worst; I hated gym class with a passion. It was the one class I couldn't enjoy. Because the other kids made it a blood bath. If I missed something, I got yelled at, or they would hate to have me on their teams. Even in high school, I hated and failed gym class. So you can imagine my disdain when I went from having gym class once a week to having it every day. My depression and anxiety kicked in even more.
A few years after high school, I started my journey and realized my paranormal abilities to be a psychic medium and energy healer. Then it was self-evident that I suffered from mental illness. When I started journaling, I wrote in it once a week or a couple times a week. It was like that for years. For some reason, when I was going through ascension in vibrational level and consciousness, that I started writing every day. There was something different happening with me as I battled with my mental health and ascension. Which is not for the faint of heart. That was the summer of change and retrograde. We had 8 planets in retrograde, and I felt like I would lose what very little sanity I had left. Journaling helped me process what was going on with me. Since then, when asked what I want for my birthday or Christmas, I always say you can't go wrong with journals. Every year I got journals, thick ones, thin ones; I can judge how long it would take me to fill it.
But besides writing in a journal, I look at the cover, what it says, or what picture is on it. I have had ones that were dotted, lined, and blank. During a clear-headed moment, the idea popped into my head to design journals that have a purpose and a message. Something that spoke to everyone. Like most of my ideas/ dreams, I wrote them in my journal. For a while, it stayed there, and it often popped up for me. My journey in life isn't as different as most people's. I lost loved ones, welcomed new ones, cried, and smiled. I have come close to losing my house due to Hurricane Irene; I almost lost my dad a couple of times, my mom, too. But I did what I do, kept it together, and when I was alone in my room with my journal, I poured my heart and emotions out, even to the point where I cried myself to sleep. Then there were the moments I celebrated and enjoyed. I wrote in my journal when both of my brothers went off to war in Iraq. I wrote when my aunts passed away. During my mom's cancer battles, I wrote when my heart was broken and found my power. Everything in life we go through is a lesson or a blessing.
The ideas of designing my own journals kept coming up and one weekend. It was like something else guided my hands to just start designing. Before I knew it, I had 32 designs and over 150 ideas. They range from witch studies, sexual pride, positive sayings, and mental health awareness. I have many more ideas to come. The purpose of Brian's Journals is to help end the stigma of mental health, make people aware of those with mental health issues, and encourage those like me to get help. I was lucky to have a doctor who listened to me and put me on meds that help me. My journaling has made a significant impact on my life. It has been something that I can count on. It's my only wish that my journals have that impact on someone. That they pick up a pen and my journal and write. Instead of picking up a weapon and killing themselves or others. Because weapons expand the hurt, it doesn't heal it. My message to those with mental health issues, You are not alone. We are in this together.