My journey started over 10 years ago. I was working in a job that had its good moments. But I was genuinely unhappy and manifesting nothing good in my life. I was falling for a friend of mine at the time. Who really wasn't a friend at all. The first thing was that when he had a boyfriend, I didn't exist. When they broke up, it was my fault; then, I had to be questioned by his cousin. Who was too stupid to realize her cousin and boyfriend frequently hooked up behind her back. I had been hit one too many times beyond this situation that I started having regular energy work done, which he called my voodoo. Nothing I did or said or how much I tried to change for myself. It was never good for him, and I was blind that I held on to him because I thought I was in love with him. The truth was I thought it was love. Honestly, I didn't know what love is to look like or feel. But he wasn't the first or the last that I would feel like this. But I wised up and walked away from him because I couldn't do it. The following year, it was another guy, but he just ended things out of the blue after some amazing times. No reason, no closure. Then he blamed me for being crazy and didn't want to talk to me. This completely shattered me because I could be vulnerable with him, then I was hit with a blouder. He told me he took pity on me and let me into his life, then slammed the door on me. I was confused, here I was a year into my journey, and I felt like career-wise, I was bounced around trying to be flexible. Not sure whether I was coming or going, I hate having to be censured. Here I thought he was coming around and showing his heart to me. Boom, he had a boyfriend, and it was like my heart was ripped out. Even the energy work I had done didn't help; I was just upset, depressed, and messed up. I get up and go to work and puttered around. But I was just a hollow shell. I could fill those spaces, but I realized that I couldn't let my heart be exposed like that again. Despite what people said, he never came back. Even sporadic communications, he still thinks I am that twenty-something crazy and won't ever change. Sad that he is just blind. But he is living his own nightmare, and I wish him well.
All my life, from classmates, family, friends, and former love interests, I had been called crazy. I say this to all, Yes I am crazy, and I am proud of it. Because I refuse to give in to some cookie-cutter way of life and being. I carved my own path and have my own way of doing things I have no regrets whatsoever. My journey, the spiritual practices that I employed, and the years fell by the waist side. After being called many names in my life, I just hit that wall; you know that wall of Fucking Enough Already! We all have been there. I learned about myself and how much shit I am willing to take. I developed a tough heart and mind. I choose not to fight, but I will, and that will be your regret if I have to. I learned how to love myself and others; I learned that I am worthy and enough. If there are those out there who disagree, then they can off..Fuck off! For the most part, I keep to myself and caretake, work on myself, and go about my life. I developed a closer relationship with Creator, Mother and Father God, Spirit, and my ancestors. I am learning to develop a relationship and deeper connection with my guides, animal guides, and healing guides. I have been able to knock down that wall that has been my defense for so many years. Everything else that my journey has entailed I keep in my journals because I choose not to share with people. But I will share in a much later blog and on my upcoming YouTube channel. Because right now, writing what I have has triggered me in a way. When I am triggered, I take time to sit in the energy, communicate with it, find its link, and to wherein the body is it. I do some much-needed face-to-face healing work with it.
Like I have said, I don't run away anymore. I stay and go through my much healthier process. I took food away as much crutch. I find myself communicating within and releasing it, and healing it. I feel much freer than eating junk food and eating my feelings. Eating your feelings makes you sick, you gain weight, and it does not help you in any way. I speak from experience. If you do, please get help. It's okay to ask for help; in fact, it's better than anything, and the effects last much longer.
I have been walking my spiritual journey for over ten years; I continue to this day. Yes, I have thought of stopping and say forget it. But what would that do? What would that achieve? Absolutely nothing. I continue, and I learn every day; I keep going. Some days, I wondered why I bother waking up, and having mental health issues in the mix adds bitterness to the fire. I find that I keep learning, growing because I am still here on earth. The lessons I am meant to learn and teach aren't don't yet. I have my spiritual practices that help. My grounding exercises, clearing my energy, going outside, feeling the sunshine and the breeze, my ultimate ones, is poetry writing and Journaling. It all helps me develop some spiritual practices today; it will make you feel better.
Are you feeling prepared to start your Spiritual Journey? are you feeling drawn to having energy work done? Contact Brian to set up your appointment. You can schedule and purchase your session under Book Your Service or contact his office at firstname.lastname@example.org